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  • Writer's pictureJustin Tilghman, Ph.D.

7 Keys to Conflict Resolution

Conflicts, you know, they're just a part of life, right? But the silver lining is that if we can learn to manage them effectively, they can lead to personal growth, stronger relationships, and a life that feels more fulfilling. So today, let's chat about seven strategies for conflict resolution that can help bring harmony to both your personal and professional life.

1. Embrace Self-Awareness

First things first, let's take a look in the mirror. Understanding your emotions, triggers, and communication style is super important for resolving conflicts. Spend some time reflecting on how you feel and behave during conflicts. How do you usually react when someone criticizes you? What type of communication makes you upset? With greater self-awareness, you'll be better prepared to tackle conflicts in a balanced and constructive way.

2. Master the Art of Active Listening

Let's face it, we all want to be heard. So when it comes to conflict, active listening is key. Give the other person your full attention, resist the urge to interrupt, and ask open-ended questions to really understand where they're coming from. By showing you care and listening with empathy, you're building trust and paving the way for honest communication. This also gives both of you a chance to clear up any misunderstandings.

3. Be Clear and Assertive in Your Communication

Now it's your turn to speak up! Share your thoughts and feelings clearly and assertively, but remember to focus on the issue, not the person. Use "I" statements to express your perspective without pointing fingers, and be specific about what you need or expect from the other person. This encourages open dialogue and helps keep defensiveness at bay.

4. It's About the Issue, Not the Person

This one's crucial: separate the issue from the person involved in the conflict. Avoid personal attacks, name-calling, or dragging up past issues. Trust me, that's just gonna make things worse. Instead, zero in on the problem and collaborate on finding a solution that works for both of you.

5. Aim for Win-Win Solutions

When it comes to conflicts, let's think teamwork! Approach the situation with the goal of finding a solution that benefits both of you. Be open to compromise and collaboration, and consider multiple options before deciding on a resolution. A win-win outcome creates positive vibes and a sense of unity and balance.

6. Take a Breather if Necessary

I've found this one super helpful. If emotions are running high during a conflict, it might be best to hit pause and cool off before continuing the conversation. This gives both of you a chance to calm down and approach the issue with a clearer, more rational mindset. Plus, it's a great opportunity to think through what's already been shared.

7. Learn and Grow from the Experience

Once the conflict has been resolved, take a moment to reflect on the experience and identify any lessons or opportunities for growth. What went well during the conversation? What could've been done differently? By learning from conflicts, you can continuously improve your communication and conflict-resolution skills.

Conflict resolution is an essential skill for fostering balance in your personal and professional life. By embracing self-awareness, mastering active listening, communicating assertively, focusing on the issue, aiming for win-win solutions, taking breaks when necessary, and learning from the experience, you can turn conflicts into opportunities for growth, learning, and stronger relationships. So go on and give these strategies a try to create a more integrated, balanced, and fulfilling life.


And hey, if you're struggling with unresolved conflicts and feel like they're holding you back from living your best life, why not explore the benefits of a coaching partnership? It could be the first step towards better relationships and a more balanced life.


Justin is a Board Certified Advanced Life Coach with the Board of Christian Life Coaching, a division of the International Board of Christian Care and the American Association of Christian Counselors. He has demonstrated knowledge and application of biblical integration in coaching, the ICCA and ICF Core Competencies, the Code of Ethics, and the ICF definition of coaching.


Justin is a Board Certified Master Mental Health Coach with the Board of Mental Health Coaching, a division of the International Board of Christian Care and the American Association of Christian Counselors. He has demonstrated knowledge and application of biblical integration in providing ethical and competent mental health coaching.

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