I wrestled with crippling anxiety and fear for over 10 years before I got relief...and the answer was simple
I started a coaching practice because I want to offer the kind of help that I desperately needed when I was in the grips of fear and anxiety. It was a coach who helped me find the key to getting out of my situation and I want to do that for others.
My journey with anxiety and fear really began my senior year in college. I went through a really rough experience that involved the ending of a relationship and a nervous breakdown.
It was so bad that for the first time in my life, I couldn't envision any sort of future for my life. I wasn't exactly "suicidal" but I could certainly understand how someone could get there from where I was.
On the outside, I looked like I had it all together; at least I thought I did. But inside, I was gripped by continual anxiety and borderline irrational fear. Fear that I was going to die. Fear that I was never going to enjoy my life again. Fear that I had ruined everything that mattered in my life. That led to a sense of depression that just drove the fear even deeper. I couldn't find my purpose and felt like I had lost my identity. Some days I was doing good to get out of bed and barely catch my breath. It was a miserable existence.
After a while, I just learned to live with the constant feelings and just accepted the fact that this was likely going to be my existence for the rest of my life. Talk about a joy-filled outlook on life. I went from being the one who was usually happy and joking with everyone to a practical zombie who felt numb inside and didn't enjoy being around anyone. If I had my way about it, I would have just locked myself in a room and never come out.
It began to eat away at my friendships, my family relationships, my marriage, my job, and my relationship with my son. I was missing out on so many life experiences and that just compounded my problem, making me feel even worse.
This continued off and on for the next 10 years. I'd have moments of relative calm and peace only to be overwhelmed by feelings of despair, fear, and anxiety all over again. I didn't trust myself. I didn't trust my feelings. I didn't trust what anyone else had to say. It felt like I was never going to pull out of this vicious cycle.
To make matters worse, from the very beginning these cycles of fear and despair latched on to my faith in God, which has always been a central pillar in my life. I started experiencing what's been called religious OCD, or scrupulosity. So, not only did I feel like I had no hope of ever finding peace in this life but I felt certain I was doomed for an eternity of despair, fear, and anxiety after I died and that there was nothing I could do about it.
Then one day something clicked.
I was working with a coach and he helped me to understand where these feelings were actually coming from, and it wasn't my external circumstances. He helped me to shift my mindset and begin to understand that, mentally, I was living everywhere but in the present moment and that I was allowing something that no longer existed to control my life.
He also helped me to see that I had the power to take my thoughts captive and be in charge of what I did with them.
Armed with this new understanding, or really a "reactivation" of sorts, things changed. I found my identity in who God created me to be rather than external circumstances. I began living with a sense of purpose again, more so than I had in almost 10 years. My wife and family noticed the change to the point that they kept asking, "Are you sure you're really ok?" I had energy to play with my boys again. I had energy and a desire to engage in my marriage again. My job, which had seemed like a real drain, began to have a new sense of purpose to it. I began to feel more alive, and even connected with God, than I had in a very, very long time.
If you're a Christian, you may be familiar with 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 which tells us to take every thought captive and make them obedient to Christ. That whole concept of taking my thoughts captive was the key that unlocked the door for me. There's another verse in Proverbs that says that as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. Man, was that true!
But this is a universal truth. It's not a theory, or a model. It's a truth. Whether you're a person of faith or not, it's still the key to setting you free from the captivity of your thought life and your inability to grow as a person. This simple, yet profound truth, along with a few other principles, is very likely what is holding you back from what you're wanting in life.
When you are able to get clarity on who you are at your core, and adjust your mindset to align with that truth, you'll be amazed at how much more joy, peace, and fufillment you get from life.
And I'd love to walk with you through grabbing that key and unlocking the cage that you've been placed in, because you don't have to be there. And you don't have to crawl out alone. It's not easy. But I promise to walk with you every step of the way toward freedom.
In just 6 to 7 weeks, you and I can work together to shift your mindset and get you experiencing more freedom, meaning, joy, and purpose in your life.
I'm here for you!
P.S. - While my faith is a central component of who I am, I'm happy to work with any one, regardless of their faith, or lack there of. But, as a Christian who provides life coaching, I want to be transparent with you about my coaching philosophy and core beliefs. You can read those here.